


(paint with) all the colors of the wind

by ravenreyamidala



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Tony Dies Offscreen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 16:32:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17790881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenreyamidala/pseuds/ravenreyamidala
Summary: After, Steve hears things.





	(paint with) all the colors of the wind

It’s been five days and three hours and forty-seven minutes since--

Steve stares blankly at the wall. His bed is just something beneath him holding his ass off the floor. He doesn’t know if his feet are dangling above the floor or touching. He doesn’t care. 

He watches the wall. He doesn’t see the shadows change or hear the leaves rustling outside his window or hear what someone says to him as they enter the room. 

He doesn’t resist when they make him stand, make him move, push him to the kitchen. He doesn’t smell whatever food they put down in front of him, and he doesn’t eat it either. They force liquid down his throat. He doesn’t feel their hands on his jaw, holding it open, or taste the concoction as it moves down his esophagus. 

He’s in bed. He’s lying down. He’s staring at the ceiling. He’s not wearing shoes, but he’s wearing socks. He doesn’t usually wear socks to bed. He stares at the ceiling. 

He’s in the infirmary, needle in arm, IV dripping. It’s been six weeks, one day, six hours since-- 

He blinks. His eyes feel sandy and crusty and gross. Someone’s slumped over, snoring, in the chair next to the bed. 

Steve moves. They wake. 

Steve cries.

* * *

 

Steve doesn’t know how long it’s been. Not long enough, but at least the ticking time bomb in his head has been defused. He’s running in Central Park, wind rushing in his ears, when he first hears it. 

_ Was it worth it? _

He stops abruptly, nearly falling arse over tit, as Peggy would say, ears straining for the sound. But there’s nothing except his heartbeat, thumping away, and the noises of the park: children, dogs, couples. 

He starts running again, refusing to linger. 

They’re battling the supervillain of the week, and it’s easy. It’s the first battle since--

Steve shakes his head to get rid of the thought. He jumps off the building, and he tucks himself behind his shield, about to hit Dr. Evil (or whatever the gal’s name is) with the force of a multi-ton truck when he hears it again. 

_ Duck _ . 

Steve ducks, interrupting his trajectory and falling to the ground, but avoiding the energy blast that would have sliced through his abdomen like a warm knife through butter. The blast instead hits a car, leaving it a fiery wreck. 

Steve doesn’t have time to stop and ponder his narrowly-avoided fate. The villain is still at large. He grabs his shield from where it’s fallen beside him, and gets back into the fray. None of the other Avengers see this moment. 

After though, Steve wonders.

* * *

 

Steve is going mad. It’s the only explanation. There’s no rhyme or reason to when he hears it, but he does. When he sketches or paints or runs or spars. When there’s no wind to carry the voice, in his apartment at night, watching silent movies, making up the dialogue. Snarking at him when he doesn’t understand a reference, in all the spaces that would be quiet otherwise. 

He’s visiting the tower, standing on the helipad, not looking at the suit-disassembling station, watching the sun set. The wind envelops him, almost a caress.

It’s been one year, five months, two weeks, and too many days. 

_ I miss you _ . 

 

**Author's Note:**

> angst on valentine's day! #sorrynotsorry


End file.
